If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
