he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I still have a little drunk in my system
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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