Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
