We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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