Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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