Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My vagina is very pro this idea
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