Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
