Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
