I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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