Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
