Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
