i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize