I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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