and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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