Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
