I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think people are normalizing furries
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
