I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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