I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
