What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
