i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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