I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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