we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Panties = found
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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