apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
