I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
