flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
