My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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