Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
