But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
