hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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