We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you win again, gameday.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
