Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
