Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
