i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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