My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize