FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
