she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
