I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
