evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
