My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
