once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
