If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
