They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
