She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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