she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
