Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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