I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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