I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
