Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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