You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
