just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
