batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize