i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
