all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
