im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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