my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize