PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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