two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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