the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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