And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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