i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
